Hi, My name is Matt, and I'm a... *nervous cough* I'm a Preppy.

God, people!! You're supposed to say, "Hi, Matt," and make me feel all welcome about it.

Well, all right. I don't exactly have the full wardrobe anymore, but then again, I don't really have a full wardrobe anymore. If I did, rest assured that it would be full of oxford cloth, khaki, club stripes, madras, and well... argyle.

I'm a geek, people. Born a geek, raised a geek, and perpetually, lovingly, and proudly a geek. And I never spent a whole lot of time fussing over clothes. That's why being preppy was so convenient. It was kind of the uniform for folks that didn't have a uniform. And it's comfortable. I mean really comfortable. You can play in it, and you can work in it. You can go out for a drink or give a presentation or just hang out on the front porch in it, and you always look neat. Neat was always a big selling point with me. Life is pretty untidy, so any order I can find helps.

But argyle? There's always been a special place in my heart for argyle. I don't know why. It's kind of simple, really. Just a bunch of diamonds with some lines superimposed over them. No biggie, right?

Wrong! Maybe it's the neat thing again. Maybe it's just that Billy Joe Campbell, heart-throb of my sophomore year of high school, looked positively adorable in his baby-blue button-down rolled-cuff long-sleeve Izod, Duckheads, Jake Ryan sweater vest and matching Abercrombie & Fitch socks (back when A&F was the preppy outfitter). Hmm... where did that come from? I don't know, but I have always liked argyle... and I haven't the first clue in Hades how to knit the stuff.